Spark Of Life
by Bubbel97
Summary: Something unexpected happens to Konan. How will the Akatsuki handle this? And is Madara prepared to kill her to prevent it from happening? What will Pein do? PainxKonan/KonanxYahiko
1. Chapter 1: An Angel's Resolve

**Spark Of Life**

**Summary: **Something very unexpected happens to Konan. How will Pein and the rest of the Akatsuki handle this? And is Madara prepared to kill Konan to prevent it from happening? **  
Pairings: Pein x Konan. **(and implied SasoDei and KakuHida if you want to see it like that)**  
Warnings: None.** Just Hidan's swearing and a little bit ooc-ness in the beginning.**  
Note:** Madara in this fic is _not _the real Madara Uchiha, it's Tobi that _claims_ that he is Madara.

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**Chapter 1: An Angel's Resolve**

Konan made her way out of her bedroom, wriggling slightly. So typical of her to get the stomach flu when it was as most unsuitable. She had no idea why she woke up with sudden nausea but she guessed that she must have been infected that day when she and Pein attended a carnival in the Rain village.

Grasping her stomach she rushed out from her room. _Please_, she begged silently, _let me make it to the bathroom in time…  
_She nearly collided with Hidan and Kakuzu who was quarreling as usual in the middle of the hallway.

"Out of the way," she gasped.

Hidan didn't hear. "No the hell Kakuzu, I'm _not _fucking unfaithful with Jashin! Why don't you fucking believe me you ugly c*ck…"

Despite her heavy nausea and growing stomach ache, Konan had the strength to slap him in his face. "_No such words, Hidan!" _

The gray-haired man rubbed his cheek. "Ow! You son of a-" His partner interrupted him by placing a hand over his mouth. "Shut the fuck up, Hidan. I don't want Leader to kill you because you insulted her. And what's up with you, origami girl?"

"…Nothing, Kakuzu." Konan grimaced. The waves of nausea were nearly overwhelming. She dragged herself to hers and Pein's private bathroom and collapsed on the floor with a soft thud. She'd always hated to be sick. Why now?

She struggled to get up again, but the nausea was too much….

An hour later, after cleaning up herself and the bathroom floor completely, she left the room again. She didn't feel sick anymore. Maybe it just was food poisoning. Konan shrugged it off and went to eat breakfast with the rest of the organization.

The meals were always messy events. Deidara and Sasori argued about art as the blonde spread his clay all over his partner's plate and threatened to blow it up with a cocky smile. Sasori's puppet took hold of Deidara's hand to prevent him from doing so and they got caught in one of their "special moments" all of a sudden.

Hidan shouted nasty words about mortals, atheists and other people to Kakuzu who tried to get him to shut up. Kisame joked whole-hearted and grinned, enjoying the mess. Itachi looked somber and expressionless as always. Tobi ran around exclaiming that he was a good boy and wanted to be like Leader-sama someday.

Pein himself was quiet and expressionless as usual and Konan tried to cheer him up. Why was he so down today? Maybe it was because he soon would be going off on a mission without her.

"Do you mind if I come with you, Nagato?" She smiled and took hold of his hand under the table. He squeezed her hand gently. "Hn."

She knew what he wanted to say. _I would love that, Konan._

Glad to know that she was making him feel better, she continued: "You're going to the Hidden Rain again, right? I would love to go."

They shared a small smile and continued the meal. The apparent leaders had a special bond that was different from the other 'couples'.

.

Konan and Pein were in their room, preparing for their mission next day. Pein seemed much happier now when he knew that his partner would be tagging along. Konan was glad for his sake, but she was _very_ stressed. It was so much to pack, and she bitterly realized that the price for last-second-decisions was expensive. And yes, she was _annoyed _like hell. Her impatience grew as she heard Deidara argue with Hidan in the corridor next to their room.

"You stupid blonde! Pray to Jashin-sama and get a fucking life! But of course you can't because you're not motherfucking immortal as I and Jashin-sama!"

"You should get a life, un!" The artist exclaimed. "My art is so much better than your fake-ass-God, hm! Right, Danna?"

Konan gritted her teeth. Geez… it was always the same and she was so fed up.

Every day the others were arguing. _Every damn second, _they fought. At every meal, every mission, every hour of the day. _Jashin this and Art that. _And on the nights they were busy with their partners in their bedrooms… sometimes she couldn't even sleep because of the loud noises coming from there. And it didn't help that Pein went out in the middle of the night and threatened to do _shinra tensei _if they didn't stop.

"You're just fucking retarded! Your art isn't even immortal! Pray to Jashin-sama now!"

"That's right, Deidei, the immortal art is better," Sasori's bored voice was heard.

"DANNA, HN! Why are you doing this to me?"

"Hahaha, even your fucking Danna agrees that Jashin-sama is better!"

"THAT'S IT, UN! KAAAT-"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Konan roared and threw their bedroom door open.

Deidara, who just was about to blow up a massive amount of clay, froze.

Hidan laughed, unmoved. "So you're having your motherfucking period now, huh?"  
Konan snarled and went into her room again. "I swear, someday I will…." she muttered murderously.

"Konan…" She stopped and looked up at Pein. He stared at her shocked. And then she realized. Where did all her sudden anger come from? Usually she didn't say anything when the others were arguing, but now it had been too much.

She shrugged. "It's nothing, Nagato."

And with that, she continued to pack her stuff as if nothing had happened. And about Hidan's rude comment – she must remember to bring her "girl stuff" this time.

.

"Look," Konan whispered, "the sky is clearing." She glanced up at the clouds that slowly drifted away from the blue sky, saw how the rain finally ended with some last drops over the Amegakure village. The rain had stopped.

She glanced at Pein, who looked at the sky with a thoughtful expression. She adored his face, it was calm and lively. He seemed to be happier than usual. _He_ seemed more lively, not just a shell of her Nagato.

She saw how some last raindrops ran down his face, made the piercings glisten. His bronze-colored hair was wet and ruffled.

They had traveled here in a heavy rainstorm and now when they finally were here, it had ended. The endless rain had vanished.

"Nagato," she mumbled. Pein turned around and looked at her, questioning.

"Do you remember our childhood here?" She smiled faintly. Of course Nagato remembered, but did Pein?

He nodded slowly. He reached out and gently brushed some blue strands of hair from her face. Konan shuddered when his cold fingers touched her skin and she lowered her gaze. "Nagato?" she continued.

He just looked at her.

"I wish… that we could return here someday," she said. She felt his piercing stare and suddenly became unsure about what to say. "I just want to save our first memories together, the three of us…" Konan looked up at him again. "As it was… before."

What did Pein's purple eyes hide? She thought that she could see shadows of pain and longing in there.

"Konan," his voice was soft, "Let's go." He held out his hand and she took it. They walked into the village of the Hidden Rain together as the first raindrops began to fall.

The mission went smoothly, as always. For who could stop the God of the rain, Pein of the Six Paths?

Who could have more power than he when his beloved angel was at his side? With glowing golden eyes and large wings of paper she flew towards the sky and attacked the enemy with thousands of paper shurikens. Pein used his other six paths to attack from the ground. That way, they could easily catch their target and interrogate him about what he knew about the Akatsuki.

'Madara' had found out that this certain spy might know much, and he was originally going to send Itachi and Kisame for this mission because he knew that they could handle it. But Pein had said that he would take the mission – because of personal issues, Konan thought. She could believe that even Pein – Nagato – missed their home village. And the thought of returning here was tempting. Here she belonged, here she was born. Here she wanted to spend the rest of her life.

As she floated freely in the sky as an angel from above, she watched the rain pour over the landscape, filling the air with clear raindrops.  
This was her home.

Konan suddenly noticed how tired she was. Had she already run out of chakra? She flew closer to the ground and noticed that Pein's paths were done with the interrogation of the man they had captured. He struggled to get away from their iron grip but they easily stabbed him and killed him.

The God of Amegakure was standing by himself, lost in thoughts. Konan felt more tired than before and she decided to land. Suddenly, strong waves of nausea hit her. She felt how all her strength was drained from her and she fell to the ground.

When she woke up again, she felt tired in her whole body. Was it even possible to move? How could it happen?

Realizing that she was lying down on the ground she stared into the worried eyes of Pein. He was kneeling beside her and leaning over her.

"Konan? How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," she said despite her heavy tiredness. She didn't want to be a nuisance for him. At least she didn't feel sick anymore. How strange… maybe it was the stomach flu anyway. She looked up at the bare sky and saw that the rain had stopped again. Pein put an arm behind her back and supported her as she slowly sat up.

"You need to rest," he said quietly. "We'll stay here for a few days until you get your strength back."

"No, we have to go back to the Akatsuki base," she disagreed. "You've got to report to Madara…"

Pein shook his head. "Your health is more important. Come with me."

Reluctantly, Konan stood up and followed him into the town again. They checked in to a small motel. Pein walked unusually close to her all the time, paid attention so she would not fall again.

Konan was sitting on the bed in their motel room, trying to relax and get rid of her sudden feeling of angst. Pein had gone to send a message to Madara about their completed mission.

What on earth was wrong with her? The last days – weeks, actually - she had been feeling sick, angry, tired and sad.

Actually she wouldn't care so much about it if it wasn't for the increasingly clear signs. She had never fainted on a mission before. Her chakra seemed to have decreased somehow. She knew that something _was_ wrong with her. Really. And something upset her even more – she had missed her period for two months.

God – Pein – she thought, please help me. It cannot be true.

As she slowly unbuttoned her cloak, her darkest fears and brightest dreams swirled in her head. She lifted the blue tank top she wore under her cloak and stared at her belly.

.

Pein was on his way back to the motel, looking up at the now starry night sky. Would they really be able to live here in the Rain Village in the future? He truly missed it, and if Konan wanted to then he would consider it without hesitation.

But they couldn't quit Akatsuki. It was too late for them to interrupt that. Madara would never allow them to leave without killing them.

Despite his depressing thoughts Pein kept his face expressionless as he entered the motel, nodding shortly at the girl in the reception desk.

Akatsuki was their life now, and there was no way back.  
He entered their room, prepared to tell Konan everything Madara said. But she wasn't there.

"Konan?" he called quietly. He frowned when she didn't answer, as she always used to do as soon as he uttered her name.

Maybe she just has gone to the bathroom, he thought when he saw her come out from said room. His partner had removed her cloak and only wore her blue undergarments. Her pale face and distant gaze was enough to make Pein worried again. As she walked over to him with a grave expression he asked:

"What's wrong?"

Konan hesitated. Could she really tell him?

She had to.

"Nagato…"  
He stared at her, standing stiff, unsure how to react.

"…My period has been missing quite a while now..." Konan felt how her cheeks began to heat. She had never told Pein about something like this before. He had never been engaged in her "girl stuff", although they were quite intimate.

"And… I think I'm pregnant."

The silence echoed in the room. Finally she dared to look up at him.

Pein's facial expression was unchanged, as if she just said something about the weather or their mission. She stared at him while he processed the information.

Konan slowly felt her burning blush began to vanish until she was pale as a ghost. How would he react? She'd known him almost her whole life, but now she was scared. Scared for what he might think, react, and do. She had not wasted a moment to think about her own attitude towards this; all that mattered was his opinion.

After an eternity of staring, he spoke up with hard voice:

"Are you sure?"

Konan nodded, her voice had left her and she felt numb in her whole body. So that was it - he didn't approve.

She didn't know why, but suddenly tears welled up in her eyes. She'd never been the emotional type, but why couldn't she restrain the sudden flow of tears now? The last thing she wanted was to appear weak in front of him, when she knew that she was stronger than that.

Pein's face softened almost instantly when he saw her sadness. He embraced her tightly and mumbled:  
"Konan, don't cry." She just stood there in his arms as she felt her sadness slowly disappear. He gently stroked some tears from her face and kissed her lips softly.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you," he said, almost as pale as her in his face.  
"Thank you," Konan whispered.

"How do _you_ feel about this?" he asked gravely and put his hands on her shoulders.

She placed her hands over her almost flat belly. Thoughts of Yahiko, her beloved friend that died so long ago surfaced her mind. Pein was a reincarnation of him somehow. And she remembered a younger Nagato, with red hair that covered his eyes as he shyly looked up.

She was carrying the child of Yahiko... _and _Nagato, somehow. She could still hear Yahiko's happy laughter in her head, see his carefree smile. She could also hear Nagato's fragile voice, filled with sorrow and innocence. Nagato had been begging for love and a family back then when they first met.

Resolution filled her eyes. Pein saw this, and he gently cupped her chin in his hand. "You've already decided, haven't you?"

Konan nodded gravely and felt how she went back to her old self. Pein's blue-haired angel had decided.  
"Yes, Nagato. You already know. As a bridge to peace, I want to keep our child no matter what."

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**Author's Note: **What do you think so far? Reviews are very appreciated.

Thanks goes to my beta, TheWhiteLeopard.


	2. Chapter 2: Always With Me

**Chapter 2: Always With Me**

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Heavy rain was falling as Konan and Pein left the Amegakure village the following day.

They walked there in the middle of a heavy thunderstorm, both wearing the same expressionless faces as they usually did.

But something was rapidly changing. Konan may look the same as always, an expressionless, beautiful angel who followed her God wordlessly, ready to strike any possible enemy as soon as he told her to. And Pein may look the same, as well, confident and cold as he walked there beside her.

But Konan had an redundant storm of emotions that filled her heart with worry, grief, happiness and joy. Pein had his own internal struggle as well. None of them said anything. They could understand each other's thoughts without talking about it. They walked there, the apparent Akatsuki leader and his partner.

God and his angel. Pein and Konan.

Soon-to-be parents.

They had been to see the doctor earlier today. Pein had insisted that Konan's state had to be confirmed before they could decide on anything. He had promised to help her through, no matter what choice she would make.

When Konan came out of the bathroom after doing the pregnancy test, she heard the doctor talk with Pein: "How come you didn't notice this until now? It's been over two months."  
Pein muttered something. Konan knew that he wanted to tell the doctor a thing or two. How dared the doctor ask him about things like that? The God of Amegakure had other things in mind than fussing over his partner's menstrual cycle.

Konan hadn't decided if she was scared or relieved over the announcement from the stick in her hand. She held it up for them to see. A clear plus was present in the testing window of the little stick.

The doctor nodded. Pein didn't seem pleasured. "Do a blood test, as well," he ordered.

The result was the same. There was no way to get away from the truth.

"Now, what do you think?" the young doctor asked Konan afterwards.

The doctor was aware of Pein's grim facial expression and she read it like he was disgruntled with the result. She couldn't know, of course, how hard it was to read Pein if one didn't know him. Only his partner knew that he was worried, in fact.

"I don't know yet," Konan answered her. But it wasn't all true, she had already decided that she _wouldn't_ dispose of her child, no matter what. But the feelings about it hadn't reached her yet.

.

Now the partners were approaching the Akatsuki hideout. They walked close to each other again; they felt no need to keep a distance between them. Sometimes their hands even touched by accident, but they showed no other sign of affection towards each other.

It was strange, how formally and properly they always behaved to each other in public. When they were alone their conversation flowed freely, they could touch each other as they pleased and they could even be intimate. But in public they rarely kept body contact at all, just behaved as two ordinary Akatsuki partners. Except all the fuss and minor fights, of course.

Would that change now? Konan wondered. Would they still be pretending every day?

Unconsciously, she let one of her hands move down to her belly. She touched the fabric in her cloak, and she found herself wondering if their child was alright.

_You have to stop thinking like that! , _she reprimanded herself. _You don't know how things will turn out, not at all. _She glanced at Pein, saw that he was looking at her hand.

Subconsciously, they stopped walking. Pein removed her hand and placed his own over her stomach.

They stood like that for some moments, perfectly still. That strange urge to cry washed over Konan again, but this time she restrained her tears.

"We have to keep it a secret," Konan whispered and broke the silence.

"Soon or later they will find out," Pein said quietly. With "they", he referred to the whole organization, including Madara. It was a matter-of-fact.

"Please, Nagato… let us keep it just between us, as long as possible," she begged.

Pein nodded, he couldn't refuse a demand from her.

"But, I think Madara will find out soon," Konan said and lowered her gaze. Fear washed over her when she thought about him. How were they supposed to hide anything from him?

He placed his hands on her shoulders and gently pulled her closer to him. "I won't let him hurt you. Or our child."

Konan suddenly found herself smiling widely. Pein was with her in this. He would be there for her - for _them_. Had she ever doubted that?

"I love you," she murmured and kissed his neck quickly, before pulling back. "We should go inside now."

They entered the Akatsuki base and Pein went to discuss an urgent matter about a mission with their leader.

Konan went to their primitive kitchen to make her a cup of tea. She was still tired. As she searched the shelves for a usable cup (one never knew what Hidan could have done with them), she noticed somebody else coming into the room.

"Did you have fun with Pein during your mission?" a not-so-innocent shark man asked behind her.

She snorted. "Not the way you mean it. Geez, does Hidan really have that much influence on you? You're starting to sound more and more like him, Kisame."

"Actually I'm glad to be teamed up with Itachi - the kid is depressed but he knows what he's doing, at least. You should be thankful that I'm not paired up with one of the zombie twins." Kisame grinned. "Because then, you'd have a hell of swearing, nasty comments and a fighting couple."

"Hey, I fucking heard that!" Hidan shouted from the hallway. "And are you by any fucking means saying that I and Kakuzu are a couple? Your motherfucking -"

"Hidan!" Konan yelled."Watch your mouth!"

"Shut up Hidan," Kakuzu grunted.

"The way you said "I and Kakuzu…", Kisame teased.

"Shut the fuck up, your asshole!"

"You're blushing," Kakuzu remarked.

"Oh fuck you 'Kuzu, I'm gonna sacrifice you!"

"How come you're always the bad guy in this organization?"

"KAKUZU...!"

Konan sighed. "We already _have _a fighting couple, don't worry Kisame," she said dryly as she left the kitchen. Behind her she could her Hidan and Kakuzu arguing. She went out to the corridor and was about to enter her and Pein's room when she heard voices coming from Madara's room. She could hear Pein talk with him.

Usually she wouldn't think so much about it and absolutely not interfere, but now she sensed what it was about. She felt her gut tense from nervousness. Madara must have found out about her and Pein's "secret." It was nearly impossible to hide something from him.

Konan slowly walked up to the closed door. It was solid and firmly closed, but it wasn't soundproof, none of the doors in the hideout were. And that was the reason she couldn't sleep at night...

She didn't want them to know that she was there, so she stood back again. Konan let a single butterfly of paper fly to the door as she backed off.

She had removed as much chakra as she could from the butterfly - it was barely able to fly - so she doubted that they would be able to sense its presence. Konan slipped into her and Pein's room soundlessly, shutting the door behind her.

She put down her cup of tea on the bedside table and then sat down on the bed in lotus position.

She put her hands together, made a seal and whispered: "Chakra connection." She began to listen to Pein's and Madara's conversation. Keeping another paper butterfly in her hands, she could hear every word they uttered clearly.

"_Pein. I don't know what you're thinking, but I assure you that you __are making __a big mistake if you think that you can deceive me. I will find out, sooner or later, what you're planning. And when I do that..."_

Madara's, "Tobi's" low voice was heard. Konan never let it show, but she despised him.

"_We're not 'planning' anything", _Pein answered coldly. _"It's just something that I and Konan need to take care of. It will not affect the organization or its target the least."_

"_I demand to know what it is," _Madara said, just as coldly.

A short, tense silence. Konan wondered if they had discovered her paper spy. She froze.  
But soon she relaxed again when they started talking, just to freeze again when she heard what her partner said.

"_...Konan will be having a baby."_

Konan stopped breathing. Even if she knew that Pein didn't have a choice but to tell the masked man, she wished that he hadn't. How would a heartless bastard like Madara react?

More time passed, it felt like an eterny for the anxious Konan. The silence seemed to echo, until the masked man finally spoke again.

"_Akatsuki has but one goal_" How she hated those words. "_To collect the bijuus as soon as possible, and then use them in war. It is impossible to even think about a kid in this. I don't know where you got that foolish idea, Pein, but you better wipe it of your mind at once. Stop letting that girl affect you..."_

"_Don't talk like that about Konan," _Pein said, and now a hint of anger could be heard in his voice. _"This is a desicion we made together. "_

"_Did __I_ _make this decision as well?" _Madara said. His voice was threatening.

When Pein didn't answer, he continued:

"_Anyway, get rid of the kid __now b__efore this goes too far. You understand what will happen otherwise, don't you, Pein?"_

Konan was completely motionless, sitting like a statue on the bed with her hands firmly closed around the paper butterfly.

"_...I'll talk to her and see if she can change her mind," _The apparent Akatsuki leader answered, finally.

Konan lost her concentration and the little paper butterfly in her hands struggled desperately to get out. She dispelled the connection and let it fly away. She saw it try to break through the closed door. It struggled and tried, and finally slipped through the crack between the door and the doorframe.

The blue-haired woman's head was spinning with confusion. Was Pein on Madara's side, all of sudden? No, it wasn't true. Pein had no other choice but to obey Madara.  
But why couldn't she shake off this new feeling, the fear of what Madara would do?

When she left the room a couple of hours later, she found two burned butterflies of paper outside her door.

.

This new threat really worried Konan.

She knew better than to think that Madara would just let this be. He was eager to dispose of every threat to Akatsuki, potentially or not, and a child of the organization's public face could easily get on his black list.

Konan knew - but she didn't think Pein was aware of it as well - that Madara would try to kill her, or the child, soon or later. Or them both. It was a nuisance for the organization that had to be eliminated. She was sure that Madara would sacrifice her life as well to get rid of the obstacle without a second thought.

She didn't want to tell Pein about this. She knew that he would get overprotective and threaten Madara and make such a mess if he knew what she knew.

So she had to prepare – do what's necessary to protect her child and herself in the process. She would prepare a new paper technique in case she would have to fight him. Not that it would happen as long as Pein was around, but anyway. Konan didn't want to take any risks. She had to be careful, try to understand what Madara was planning…and estimate how soon he would try to strike.

The next day she stayed at the hideout. She felt down and sad, the angst wouldn't go away no matter how much she tried to be happy. And even worse, Pein was gone the whole day on a mission. She was left with trying to stop the other members from killing each other.

At the end of the day she couldn't stand it anymore. She wanted Pein to come back so badly. She'd never felt that way before.

She went to their room, stared into the mirror for some seconds. There was nothing new with her, at all, if one just looked at the outside.

It was the same old her. The same pale face with amber eyes, the same short blue hair that she never could get to curl no matter how much she tried. But within, she was really changed, and confused. She belonged to Pein, only Pein, but sometimes it felt strange. Because she belonged to Nagato as well. Nagato was the one who _was _Pein, but even though she knew that, it felt strange.

There was six pieces of Pein, six paths. She only was with the Pein that the public saw, the one with short bronze-coloured hair, that seemed to lead the Akatsuki. But behind Pein, there was Nagato. Nagato was Pein. But at the same time…it wasn't Nagato's body.

It was so complicated and she thought that she'd grown used to it by now, but it wasn't true. The psychical father to the child in her belly was Pein, and thereby Yahiko, because it was Yahiko's body.

But Yahiko wasn't here anymore. Yahiko was dead. It was Nagato who was him. Nagato was the spritual father.

God, could it get more complicated?

Konan curled up on the bed and wrapped her arms around her knees. Her cloak was uncomfortable, but she didn't care. She tiredly rested her head against the covers, felt the sorrow overwhelm her. She had no strength left. She didn't even wonder why she suddenly felt so weakened and miserable. Her invisible wings, which she always seemed to wear when she was with Pein, were broken. She knew that Pein was in trouble now because of her desicion.

_Pein… I love you so much. I never meant to bring sorrow to you... Can you forgive me?_

Right now she had lost the will to do anything. It felt as if she didn't have the strength to ever rise again. Tears escaped her tightly closed eyes as the sorrow threatened to drown her. _I have nothing left. God… Pein… please be here for me, now. I'm about to fall._

Memories of Yahiko's happy face resurfaced her mind, and she felt her cheeks become more wet when she thought about their past, their childhood.

_I have to wipe him from my memory_, she told herself, like so many times before. But now it was as hard as ever. She just couldn't let go of him. Guilt filled her heart.

_Nagato…even if the child I carry is from Pein – and __therefore__ Yahiko's flesh and blood – it's still yours, I promise. Don't feel left out, please.__  
__Forgive me._

She didn't know when she began to drift off to sleep, but she stirred a bit when Pein's strong arms suddenly lifted her up. He cradled her against him a bit, before he lay her down under the covers. He tucked her in and removed her uncomfortable cloak so that she was wearing only her undergarments. He bent down to gently kiss her lips.

"Konan, we will make this through," Pein mumbled. As always, he knew what she was worried about. He could tell by just looking at her face. "Have we ever failed before?"

She looked up at him. "Thank you… Nagato. For being with me in this. I couldn't make it without you." It was true.

He was her strength, he'd always been. Every time she thought that she was about to fall into the darkness, he caught her.

"No, it's you who are always with me," Pein said quietly. "I wouldn't stand a single day without you, Konan."

"Nagato…" She looked at him, didn't know what to say.

"Sleep now. You need to rest." He kissed her nose.

She nodded and closed her eyes, felt his hand gently stroke her hair until she fell asleep.  
It felt much better then, but nothing could erase the growing pain in Konan's heart.

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	3. Chapter 3: Part Of Us

**Chapter 3: Part Of Us**

* * *

Echoing steps down a corridor, the flap of a cloak in the stillness. Red-brown hair and a stern face.

"_Pein. I don't know what you're thinking, but I assure you that you make a big mistake if you think that you can deceive me. I will find out, sooner or later, what you're planning. And when I do that..."_

Madara's voice repeated itself in Pein's head as he walked down the stone corridor. The guilt was strong inside of him, but there is some things you cannot escape. Some things you just have to do, no matter how much you hate it.

"_Anyway, get rid of the kid __**now**__, before this goes too far. You understand what will happen otherwise, don't you, Pein?"_

He had to have a talk with Konan. For her safety, before anyone else's, as well for his own and the organization's… it would be better if they could just interrupt all of this. He wasn't heartless and nor oblivious for what this meant for her, but it was necessary.

_"I'll talk to her and see if she can change her mind", _he had answered. He regretted it, but at the same time, he knew that there was no other way than to obey.

The apparent Akatsuki leader was really worried. How would Konan react? What if she refused, turned away from him?  
The thought scared him, actually there was things even God feared, and that was if his angel left his side. She had always done everything he asked her to, but now… he knew his partner well enough to know that there was things that meant more than others for her. Peace, home and safety, for example.

And what she was carrying… it was something from past, treasured times. Something that he also wanted to shield and protect. But duty was more important. Konan's life was more important.

But still, he couldn't suppress the thought that haunted him. The only thing Pein – Nagato – regretted was Yahiko's death. But he sensed that he would come to regret this too, if he made it through. Because the child was a part of the three of them, a part of Nagato, a part of Konan, a part of Yahiko.

.

Konan sank down against the wall with her arms tightly wrapped around her body. The door to their room was firmly shut, and she was all alone. She stared into nothingness, let her tears dry and refused to move. The angst, mixed with nausea, was hard to deal with. She just felt so empty, meaningless… nothing could stop her from falling to the bottom. Only one person… but he wasn't here now.

_Nagato… Pein, I need you! I need you! Come and talk to me, pick me up, I need you right now! Why aren't you here?  
_She'd never been this irrational before. She knew that he would come to her sooner or later, nothing was wrong. Why couldn't she get herself together anymore?

A soft knock on the door. "Konan… may I enter?"

He had never asked that before. She opened her eyes, tried to get rid of the blur in the corners of her vision. "Come in, Nagato", she answered quietly.  
And Pein walked in, with no visible emotion in his beautiful face. But his façade faltered and he hurried up to her when he noticed her miserably pose on the floor.

"Are you alright?"

"…Yes, I'm just a bit tired", she lied.  
She didn't want to tell him about everything else – the nausea that threatened to overwhelm her now and then, the hopelessness, the sorrow, the deep worry for their child's life and all her love for them.

She stood up, wondering why he had come here and if she was needed for something.  
Pein just didn't know how to bring up the topic about rethink this choice, interrupt the pregnancy. How could he do that when Konan looked so miserable? It was only visible in her eyes, but he could read her calm expression and he knew what she felt.

No matter what Madara said, Pein wasn't going to let her down. He wasn't going to let her fight this internal war alone. He would be with her, no matter what.

"Konan…" She looked at him with her glowing amber eyes. Pein embraced her, held her tightly in sudden affection. As usual, no words were needed for the unusual couple. She knew what he had decided, but Pein told her anyway, to hear himself say it.

"I will do everything to protect you two."

He could hear a smile in her voice when she answered. "I will do anything to help you, as well."

Pein sighed. "I will discuss this with Madara again. But we don't know how this will turn out. If we aren't allowed…"

Konan nodded gravely against his chest. She fully understood the actuality in this, that everything was hanging on a thin string right now and they could never know when everything would be too late. This could easily cost them their life – Konan knew that she would die if she encountered the masked man, and Pein… he wasn't able to stand up against him either.

But what wouldn't she do to protect the legacy of ancient times, times that she had loved. When she had been happy together with her friends. Yahiko… Nagato… they were living inside of her, as one.

She would do anything.

.

"Pain is my God. I worship him as God, and I believe that he will defend me from my enemies. Pray for him."

She was standing at the top of a high mountain, spread her large wings of paper. She could see the whole earth in front of her, blackness and war. The sky was dark and heavy rain was pouring down, drowned cities and countries with no mercy. She could still hear that voice inside of herself. "Pray for God. Pray for the defense of what you want to save."

She could hear that it was her own voice now, grave and unfazed by the destruction in front of her. She could see herself standing at Pein's side, so powerful together with him. Nothing could stop them.

She could see people scream and flee on the ground far beneath them, until only a little child was left alone. Konan just realized this, when:

"_Shinra tensei!_" Pein spread his arms as he voiced the name of the powerful technique. "No, wait, Nagato…" Konan screamed suddenly. "There's one left! There's a little child left!"

Despite the absurdness of the situation, she knew that she never before had said a single thing about the people that were targeted by Pein's techniques. She never cared.

But now she did. "Wait!"

But the whole area in front of them, a big world of forests and villages, was reduced to an endless desert. Everything blew up, disappeared into nothingness. The Shinra Tensei was so forceful that the whole earth was shaking.

They were the only survivors, standing at the top of everything, close to the sky. Konan and Pein were both dressed in black, Konan's wings were black. She almost began to cry when she thought about that lost child she saw in the last moments.

"You're the angel of death", Pein told her suddenly. "Someone like you shall not give new life. "

Konan looked at herself and she was scared. _Angel of Death… _that was what she was?

_You're not allowed to give new life. You will stay by God's side. He will defend you, but only you.  
You're not made for giving new life, Konan. Your task is to help me, the God of the world.  
_

_To take away people that make war. To kill them. God is your defense, but also your lord.  
And you shall obey._

Konan awoke with a gasp. She breathed heavily, her heart was racing in her chest and she realized that clear drops were running down her cheeks. It was just a dream… just a dream. But in the dark night, it felt like it was reality.

Nevertheless, the words were burned into her mind.  
_You're not allowed to give new life. You're the angel of death. You only have an assignment that you will do._

She realized that it was true. How could somebody like her ever be allowed to be a mother? She remembered when she and Pein eliminated Hanzou's existence from the world, some years ago. They killed him, and everyone that was related to him. He had made war, but when Nagato – as Pein - decided that they would go after him, she helped him with deleting everybody.

They killed every single one of Hanzou's relatives and subordinates- his wife, his children, his friends and comrades and their families. All his forces. Children and babies were even killed. No mercy was shown.

They performed that task in their endeavor to clean this world from war, but the guilt was slowly building in Konan. It was true, how could she ever be allowed to have children after the lives she and Pein had taken?

Is there any way, she wondered, to clean Nagato and myself from this darkness, this blood on our hands?

She turned around in the bed, snuggled closer to Pein's sleeping form. Nagato liked to be Pein as much as possible nowadays, and it was especially important to be as strong as possible now when Madara was on their track. Therefor he let Pein be in her presence, not himself.  
It was so complicated… one body, one mind, another person. But it was the least of her problems.

When morning came, the first thing Konan did was to rush to the bathroom. Ugh… this morning sickness was killing her. She hated to be nauseous and moreover, her throat burned and she had a headache. But she was a shinobi, an excellent kunoichi from the village of the rain, she told herself firmly, and she could handle this. Yes, she could.

But when it felt like her whole belly was turned inside out, it was hard to believe. She wished that the child just could be out, but at the same time… it was safer this way. They would have to kill her if they wanted to kill her child. And if they killed her, her child would die too. She wasn't going to mother another orphan child. It was enough with her and her friend's sad childhood and all the countless war orphans… Before she found Yahiko, she was so alone… her whole family had been killed and she was broken. It was long ago, but still so hard to think about.

Konan's head was spinning with thoughts and emotions, and that made her unfocused and abstracted. She spent the main part of the breakfast with complaining at Kakuzu, Hidan and Deidara, they were noisy and foul-mouthed like always.

She longed to be alone with Pein again. She soon left the table and went into their room again, hoping that he would follow her. And he did.

Like always, he seemed to understand the mood she was in. He leaned over the bed where she was sitting, gently gripped her wrists. Konan let go of the paper she was holding in her hands, folding to origami flowers.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, enjoyed to be so close to him, feeling his strong body so gently holding her own, thinner building.  
She connected their lips in a soft kiss that sent shivers through her whole body. Her partner looked emotionless like always, but she knew what he was hiding.

She gently stroke his red-brown hair and was confused for the first time – who was she holding, really? It was easy to imagine Yahiko standing in front of her, beautiful and grave, and that made her heart ache. But at the same time, his eyes were Nagato's and looked at her like only Nagato could.

In this confusion, a name she rarely uttered spilled from her lips:

"Pain…"

He was the both of them at the same time.  
_Stay with me, _she thought as she hugged him tightly.

"Konan?" Now she could hear a slight confusion in his voice.

"Nagato…" she mumbled, "I… I need you."

Their foreheads rested together, and she let her hands sweep down the fabric in his cloak. He – whoever he was at that moment – knew what she needed.  
When he pinned her down at the bed and kissed her passionately, Konan wished for the first time that it only was one of them, that she never would have to choose.

.

.

* * *

Author's Note: Sorry for updating so late, I got a huge writer's block when I was writing this, but now I have inspiration again ;). In the next chapter, things will begin to happen for real...

**Reviews make my day! **


	4. Chapter 4: Let It Rain

**Hi everyone…** I'm still alive. I know it has been an awfully long time but life insists on being lived and I've had a lot of writer's block and lots of things to do with my other stories. Anyway, I do hope you enjoy this chapter and if you have any suggestions for the plot, feel free to let me know. But don't worry; I know quite well where this story is going anyway.

**Chapter 4: Let It Rain**

* * *

Outside the tower it was always raining. Nothing but darkness met Konan outside the window when she slowly woke up. Other people would have been depressed by the constant lack of sunshine but she was used to it. It had been there during her whole life.

Pein was not lying beside her and neither had she expected him to. He had left some time during the early morning hours to attend to his other chores. Thoughts that she had thrown away returned now and then, and now was one of those days when she was more aware of the life she was living.

The one she had loved with her whole heart was Yahiko. Her physical relationship with Pein was… to tell the truth, it was rather built out of physical attraction than sentimental feelings. He had six paths of Pain and she knew them all. But they were made of other people's bodies, five of which she had never met alive.

Since Pein actually was a dead body, was it wrong of her to be in love with his body rather than his heart? The moments they shared during the nights, the strong passion between them… was it wrong of her to dismiss the glimpse of Nagato in him? To just enjoy him as he was? They meant everything to her, both Nagato and Yahiko, but the bond she shared with each of them was different. Yahiko had been her lover the short time they had together. Nagato was, just as the other man had been, her trusted comrade, but the bond they shared was deeper but not physical in any way.

Pein was her only way to have them both at the same time, to both get love and company. She and Pein used each other for other things than just cooperating in missions and that gave her strong feelings of guilt. She loved the feeling of his skin against hers, his kisses. It was a way to reconnect to the time when she had Yahiko, but she hated it when Nagato realized that her feelings for their dead friend were stronger than her feelings for him. He never said anything about it but she could feel his disapproval anyway.

She could still feel Pein's touch so deep inside of her, the feelings that could be so overwhelming sometimes. But even when she tried to imagine that he was Yahiko, to shut out her inner voice of accusations, Nagato let her know who he was.

And now she was lying here alone on the mattress, only making complicated things even more complicated. But her will had not changed; the life growing inside of her would unite them all.

That brought her thoughts to things that were worse. Konan was really worried. Not only worried – convinced. At this rate they would be going straight to death, both she and Pein. Even if they fought the masked man together it was unlikely that they would win.

It had passed a couple of weeks since Madara found out about their secret and ever since then it had been very tense between the apparent leaders and the masked man. Konan had seen the looks Madara had given her for the past weeks. That red Sharingan eye never let go of her with its piercing gaze. She felt really uneasy in his presence and had begun to avoid the meetings with the rest of the organization. She stayed in her room as much as she could and avoided walking around alone in the hideout. Now and then she could force a protesting Deidara or a bored Sasori to follow her if she needed something.

She knew that Pein was worried as well, but there was nothing he could do. She sensed that Madara was planning on killing her secretly, but she didn't dare to tell Nagato about that.

She was sitting alone in her room again, looking out at the rain. Different memories touched her mind swiftly and disappeared after dragging out different reactions from her. She smiled faintly at some memories and struggled against tears at others.

She remembered when she and Pein just had agreed to Madara's Eye Of The Moon plan and how angry Madara had been when he found out that it was more than just comradeship between them. But Pein didn't fall back for the man's anger that time. Konan had watched silently as he, bravely enough, had argued back against the masked man and told him that he was not going to affect the relationship between him and Konan.

Afterwards she had asked him quite upset why he had defied Madara. She knew that he could have ended up being killed. But Pein just looked her deeply in her eyes and gently put his arms around her.

"Because I love you, Konan", he had said. "And remember – if something ever should get in our way, we can escape from this."

It was the first time she had heard him tell her verbally that he cared that much about her and it had stunned her at the time. She was young, deeply hurt from Yahiko's death and not knowing where her love belonged. And then he became Pein and she fell in love with him all over again.

But after that, she rarely heard him say that. Their relationship deepened and finally developed a whole new level. And she matured. Being the apparent, mystical leaders of the Akatsuki meant things that she really didn't want, such as murder and capturing, but she learnt to cope with it rather quickly.

She moved to a more comfortable position on the floor and traced her hands over the raindrops on the other side of the window pane. It hurt – it always hurt when she thought of Yahiko's and Nagato's young, innocent faces. Just as Nagato and Yahiko always had wanted to protect them, she had always wanted to do the same thing for them.

She swiftly moved her hands down to her stomach, traced patterns light as a butterfly over the fabric in the cloak. She could clearly remember Pein's strong hand, placed gently over her belly and that made her insides swirl.

_If something ever should get in our way, we can escape from this._

Did you really mean that, Nagato? she wondered. Would you still be willing to leave everything to escape with me?

At the same time she wondered what he had been thinking. It was not so easy to escape from somebody like Madara and Nagato of all people should know that.

Konan rose from her place on the floor and walked over to the closet. She pulled out something she had hid for a long time. A bit of dark blue fabric in her hand, a piece of metal.

It was her Hidden Rain forehead protector, a memory of that time when she wore it every day in the early days of the Akatsuki. She remembered clearly that day when they had dragged their kunais in a straight line across the symbol on their headbands, symbolizing that they were rogue ninjas and no longer belonged to their village. She also remembered everything else, from the day the three Sannin found them and Jiraiya started to train them to the day of the end.

**xxx**

Three years had gone since Jiraiya started to train them, and now he was going to leave. Konan, Yahiko and Nagato watched him go as the rain fell endlessly around them. It felt so sad that their time together with their teacher was over. Now their life started for real and they had to stand on their own feet to survive. Only the tree of them could build their life. Nagato was planning about starting an organization, something that would work for peace.

It worked well at first. They tried to do everything that Jiraiya had taught them and continued to train and plan as they lived in the small cottage on the countryside. They could still laugh together as they ate and they could still encourage each other to get stronger.

But as they grew from kids to teens, and slowly towards the next state in their life, things changed. They all became graver and it became harder to talk about anything as they had done before. Konan missed the time when the three of them had been sitting on their knees in their green sage outfits in front of Jiraiya, who was wearing the same outfit.

She started to notice the difference in her own development compared with the others and that bothered her. They were turning into young men, she into a woman. Sometimes it felt like the space between them was endless. She wanted to develop the same muscles as they did and she hated it when the menstrual pains weakened her awfully or her body let her down in its sensitive changing form. It was small things that she couldn't fail to notice.

The boys took a certain distance from her when it came to intimate things. When away on mission with their newly established organization Akatsuki and they found a waterfall to rest by, the other men would walk aside so she could wash in peace. It came naturally, that distance, and she was sometimes happy for the space they gave her. But mostly she didn't feel like that. She wanted nothing but to be their equal in every way and not be treated differently because of her gender.

But none of them treated her differently in other ways and they never became overprotecting of her. Even though they were practically together all the time, all of them had to stand on their own feet.

Those days when she had no reason to be weakened and started to accept her changing body it was much easier to feel like one of them. She fought by their side as anybody would, but sometimes she felt that her muscles couldn't take another round while they still had lots of energy left. And no matter if she grew very strong compared to other women, her physical strength could never match Yahiko's and Nagato's level. Her body was built in a different way.

Yahiko was their leader and Konan and Nagato stood by his side through everything. They lead their organization towards peace in the war that was going on between Suna of the hidden Sand, Iwa of the hidden Stone and Konoha of the hidden Leaf at that period. It was such an unstable and fearful time of their lives. That was when they first met Hanzo and nothing would be the same.

Yahiko was brave and never hesitated to wield his sword against any of their enemies, but Konan's worry for his behavior grew in silence. Rather often he ended up hurt and she couldn't suppress her silent fear that he would die earlier than any of them if he continued like he did.

It was a rainy day, like always, and she was tending to her ginger comrade's wounds. They were sitting in the cottage and Nagato was outside. He planned something for the organization with some of their most trusted subordinates.

"You have to be more careful, Yahiko", Konan reprimanded as she bandaged his arm, head and whole chest. He was foolhardy sometimes and this time he had been so badly hurt that Konan and Nagato had to enter and stop their enemy from totally destroying him.

There was still a bit left of his natural glee, but for every day he became graver. "I'm fine, Konan. You should worry more about yourself", he remarked. He didn't want any pity or reprimands, not from anybody.

She leaned a bit closer to attach the bandage properly and suddenly froze. When she looked up her amber eyes were locked to his dark grey ones.

"I knew you wouldn't listen to me", he mumbled.

They stared at each other, suddenly not sure if this was reality or not. A drop of sweat ran down Yahiko's bandaged forehead.

Suddenly he looked astonished. The grave expression was gone from his face and he looked much younger. Konan couldn't remember being so close to him ever before… it felt a bit strange. But the truth was left, she loved him. She had never told anyone about it, but she did. She dreamed about him now and then, such beautiful dreams…

Konan wanted to look away; she didn't want to be caught in his gaze more than she already was. But they both leaned closer, wanting more of the feeling this gave. Was this how it felt to be in love with somebody? She felt happier than ever before. Maybe she was still dreaming.

.

Nagato folded the map over the Shinobi countries carefully. "We have no choice, Yahiko is right. We have to make an agreement with Hanzo or he will probably try to attack us again. The subordinates nodded. "It's the only way", one of them said. "It will give us an advantage to be their allies, just as Yahiko-sama said. "

After a short debate with himself, Nagato decided that that was good for now.

He dismissed the subordinates and went back into the cottage. He realized that they would have to move from this place soon. They needed a better place to be in, somewhere in the middle of Amegakure, where they would have more hideouts.

He stepped into the main room. "Yahiko, Kona –"

Nagato's voice died in his throat. His purple eyes stared at his comrades, shocked beyond words.

For Konan it had just felt natural to close the last space between her and Yahiko, and for the other it just happened that he raised his hands and gently places them on the girl's heated cheeks. They kissed, blinded to the world that surrounded them.

Nagato was only aware of his own painfully pounding heart. He stared at Konan and a whirlwind of emotions overtook him. Why? Why was this happening? He was in love with Konan.

Suddenly he just wanted to rush away. He felt betrayed although he knew that he had no right to feel that way. But it didn't make the feeling less real. He should have known that his awfully weak heart would fall for her sooner or later.

But he couldn't get himself to leave the room no matter how much he wanted to. He stared at her rosy cheeks, the way she closed her eyes as she gasped while kissing Yahiko. Nagato also felt anger towards his other comrade. He somehow felt betrayed by Yahiko and horribly left out.

The two gestates in front of him ended the kiss and just when they were about to smile happily at each other, Yahiko got sight of the red-haired. His gasp made Konan look up and shock filled her eyes.

"Nagato…"

xxx

Konan gritted her teeth. Don't cry! She couldn't sit here and cry. It would be so wrong. She was spared and well… there was no need for her to feel that way.

But she still remembered every touch between her and Yahiko as if it was yesterday and that was the reason for her feeling of emptiness. She could still feel his warm lips on hers and his death was so hard to deal with even now, more than seven years later. So many times she had wished that she was killed instead of him. If only she had been stronger...

Since she became pregnant she felt that her life had a real meaning for the first time since Yahiko died. But it **still** was still hard to keep the melancholy away. Yahiko chose to sacrifice himself to save her and Nagato and now she still grieved that she had been spared.

Warm tears started to fall from her eyes and she did not try to wipe them away. She missed him horribly, and her heart still bled from the loss. It had been so sweet, but so short…

It hurt every time she thought about it. Maybe she and Yahiko were never meant to be together. Fate had chosen another path for them. But that was what made her even stronger in her determination. To be able to see Yahiko's face a last time… one more time. It could come true and she would get a chance to set her feelings for her comrades' right. A part of Yahiko was living inside of her and not only did she love it infinitely, it also gave her the chance to make up for everything she never did for its father.

Yahiko's child. Nagato's child. Her child.

Konan rose from the floor and decided that it was enough of grieving. She put her headband back in the closet and hid it well because Nagato didn't know that she had kept it. He had wanted to erase all traces of their previous life together with their friend. She went out into the dark hallway restlessly in search for Pein. Everything in the corridors was made out of stone and the torches on the walls were the only sources of light. They flared and created dancing shadows on the walls. Konan stopped dead in her tracks when she suddenly noticed Madara standing in front of her.

She had made big mistake when she thought that he was going to let her slip away.

* * *

.

**Review if you want more! :)**


	5. Chapter 5: The Darkest Secrets

**A/N: Hi everyone! I'm really sorry that I haven't updated for ages, but... well... I was too focused on some other stories... *hides guiltily* Anyway, here you go. I hope you enjoy.**

**Chapter 5: The Darkest Secrets  
**

* * *

_Konan went out into the dark hallway restlessly in search for Pein. She stopped when she suddenly noticed Madara standing in front of her. It wasn't an illusion; the masked man was standing there and his red eye examined her closely. _

_She had made a big mistake when she thought that he was going to let her slip away._

xxx_  
_

She instinctively took a step back. She knew that the Sharingan created dangerous illusions, and if she got caught it was over.

"What do you want?" she asked. Her voice was quiet and emotionless, but there was a faint shade of anger beneath it.

The masked man just examined her closely as she avoided looking at him. He seemed to sense her aggravation, but remained emotionless as well.

"Konan. As you are fellow of mine in the Akatsuki, I don't want to do this to you. But you give me no choice -"

She closed her eyes for a moment while an ice-cold feeling spiraled down her back at the merciless voice of her leader. She started to prepare for the fight and she could feel chakra flood violently through her body. The day when she would have to fight him had come earlier than she had expected.

In the next moment Madara was standing behind her, dangerously close. Konan raised her arms to release a paper technique, immediately alarmed. "Don't try to harm me", she warned. She was horrified, but she would not give him the pleasure to realize it. She must try to defeat him, at least...

She was not going to give in, not until the last drops of blood were gone from her body and her heart wasn't able to beat any longer.

But before any of them had time to make another move, a tall figure appeared beside Konan. She took a deep breath. Pein was here; his glowing purple eyes were looking at the masked man. What would happen now? At least she had God on her side. But she doubted that that would be enough.

Madara said nothing at first. Eyeing the bronze-haired man just as suspiciously, he decided to draw back. Of course he was able to fight the both of them at the same time, but apparently he deemed this to be the wrong moment. She suppressed a relieved sigh.

"Remember what I said", he said and looked straight at Pein. The other man stared back at him with narrow eyes, not at all liking that he had dared to approach his partner.

Konan stepped closer to Pein. They watched as the masked man turned around and disappeared, his cloak flattering after him.

**xxx**

"We have to tell them, Nagato", Konan said the next morning. She finished dressing by putting her usual origami flower in her hair and applied some blue eye shadow on her eyelids. Pein looked at her, expressionless as usual. He knew that with "them", she was referring to the rest of the organization. And he knew why.

But nevertheless, he asked. "What for?"

"Just imagine what they will think", she continued. Her voice became slightly desperate when she couldn't sense his approval. "If we don't say anything and they find out about my… _situation_ by themselves, they will get suspicious and may take own actions, perhaps together with Madara. It is just as well that they get to know. It can't get any worse, anyway."

Pein didn't answer as he put his cloak on. She waited anxiously for a sign of approval from him and after a couple of minutes he finally nodded.

"What should we do with Madara?" she asked.

Her partner's answer was calm and determined and it came without hesitation.

"We will kill him."

Konan's eyes widened. How was it even possible? The masked man was clearly over-powered, and their chances to defeat him were ridiculously small. But he had never hesitated about anything since they were kids. He deemed himself strong enough to do anything.

"Konan." He stepped over to her and gently stroked her cheek when he noticed her doubts. "We will manage to do it."

"No, we won't." She looked gravely at him. "Nagato, nothing good will come by pretending to be someone you are not. We are not strong enough to defeat that man." _It is just as well to accept it. _

If only he could understand. He was not God. No human being could carry that title, have that power or play that role.

_By becoming God, my thoughts and words become the laws of the nature. I am Pain, and through pain even a foolish kid would grow up._

_I will be the God, and I will rule this world and teach what Pain really is. God will punish them who don't understand.  
_

But still, Konan had been there when he made the decision to be the creator of the world and she had seen the reasons behind it. She remembered all too well the horrible events that led to this. She knew it all to well. _If God doesn't put and end to this war soon, I must become God and do it. _ Nagato's dream was peace. And she was supporting that with her whole heart.

She was overwhelmed with guilt once again. This decision she had taken would lead him to death too, she would take him with her. She moved her gaze away, not wanting to show him the sorrow lingering in there. But she was struck by surprise when he suddenly wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a tight embrace. He knew what she was thinking about.

She rested her head against his shoulder and her arms moved to hold him closer. "Don't forget the sacrifices I'm making", he said quietly as she buried her face against his cloak and moistened it with her tears. "I'm doing this without regret and sorrow, Konan."

Oh, his way of confident talking – it was what held her up when she thought she was about to fall helplessly. Even if she sometimes felt that her life was in his hands.  
No other words needed to be said right now. They stood there in silence, as always. She felt his lips at her forehead a short, sweet moment before he let go of her.

When Pein had left the room, she stayed some moments before she started with the duties of the day. Her hands instinctively gathered over her growing belly and she wondered, only for a short, fleeting moment:

Is this a mistake?

Her inner voice replied almost instantly: _This is the result of our carelessness. We took for granted that nothing would happen – no, we didn't even think about it. How would a dead body still be able to produce children? We had been so carefree, not thinking at all and just got lost in our love. This is what happened. _

But Konan wasn't touched by doubts anymore. She had her conviction when she once again thought about the events that created this situation. She had had her share of pain and she lived with regret. But maybe she could forget. After all, there was nothing else she could do.

_I will make your dream come true, Nagato. No matter what it takes. _

**xx Flashback xx  
**

They soon moved from the little cottage to the tower in the middle of Amegakure village; she, Nagato and Yahiko. Akatsuki had become their only occupation.

She was falling deeper in love with Yahiko by every day. It was a heat between them, a passion she couldn't suppress. She had tasted the first drop of the desire and she couldn't get enough.

Guilt burned strong in Konan's chest as she knew that Nagato felt left out. It was the last thing she wanted him to go through. And truth couldn't be denied - she loved him too, but she didn't know in which way yet. A silent triangle drama war was raging between them, although no words had been spoken about that incident when he discovered them. Nagato and Yahiko pretended to be as close friends as ever, and only Konan could see the silent rivalry that was tearing them apart more and more by each day. Looking back at it now, it felt as if Nagato and Yahiko had been the same person already back then.

But this would come to an end, faster than any of them had suspected.

They had made an agreement with Hanzo, the leader of Amegakure. They were collected to do some assignments for peace, Hanzo's subordinates and Konoha's Anbu and the three of them. Hanzo and Danzo worked together and that was just the beginning of the conspiracy that would change them and change the Akatsuki for all future.

Konan, Nagato and Yahiko had just arrived to the place when Hanzo grabbed Konan and jumped up to his subordinates on a rock. On the ground far beneath them were Nagato and Yahiko standing, shocked and angry.

"You redhead, kill Yahiko. If you try to oppose me, this woman is dead", Hanzo had announced and put a kunai over the struggling Konan's neck. She felt nothing but self-despise when she looked back at that day, how she could have allowed herself to be so weak.

Yahiko had been enraged. Konan's despairing eyes were directly set on him. She couldn't let any of them be killed because of her, because this was her mistake. She turned her gaze to her other friend.

"Don't do it, Nagato!" she screamed begging. "Don't worry about me, you two just get out of here!"

The red-haired boy was appalled, horrified, lost. His Rinnegan eyes were wide and panic-stricken. Neither he or Konan knew what to do. Hanzo had chosen his actions well and he had managed to figure out the weak spot of the group.

A kunai hit the ground between the boys with a fateful thud.

"Kill him", Hanzo repeated. "Then I will let the woman and Nagato go."

_How could we be so stupid that we actually believed in him? _So much angst was buried within her, caused by the knowledge that their stupidity had sacrificed Yahiko's life.

Konan had glared at Hanzo and tried with all her might to get free, but it was useless. Yahiko was more determined. The calm expression of his eyes had shocked his friends throughly.

"Nagato. Kill me."

"Stop it!" Konan screamed panic-stricken.

"Hurry up! Or would you let this woman die?" the leader of Amegakure scorned them.

Nagato slowly lifted the kunai, panting, trembling in his whole body. The weapon's blade was glimmering and merciless. She could see it in his eyes already then, he was about to shatter inside. No matter which feelings he held towards Yahiko, he had never wanted this to happen.

"Konan…" He looked up at her. "Yahi-"

A sudden thud.

And there it all ended. She remembered every single detail so clearly.

"_Keep on living. Together with Konan",_ Yahiko mumbled as he impaled himself on the kunai. Nagatos eyes were so wide. Yahiko smiled tiredly as blood flooded from his mouth.

**"_Yahiko!_"** Konan's despairing scream echoed over the whole area. She struggled and kicked to get free and her heart beat so fast that it hurt.

No, no, no, no, no, her mind kept on begging. Not you, not you, not you – _No! No! Not you! Please God, stop it! Don't do this -!_

Nagato's eyes stared at the dark sky, unseeing. The shock numbed his other feelings. He was overwhelmed by the realization that he just had killed his best friend.

Konan sank to her knees, gasping and crying. She was still begging despairingly in her head. Like every human she couldn't realize that it actually had happened, she was still hoping somewhere that it had been some kind of mistake, that it wasn't true. Her eyes hurt and rough sobs overwhelmed her. Hanzo stood tall beside her, merciless and motionless.

She cried helplessly in the rain._ Not you, please, I'll do anything! Just don't die, Yahiko! Don't leave us here! I love you! I love you!_

Hanzos eyes narrowed in satisfaction. "Kill them."

Yahiko's words repeated themselves in her head: _If the fighting doesn't stop, I'll be the god of this world. _That was what he had said so long ago when they were so sick of the war.

Nagato repelled all of the kunais that was thrown at him in a straight line. Hanzo and the other men were shocked. The red-haired swiftly jumped up to the rock and lifted Konan into his arms. As hundreds of paper bombs attached themselves to his body he put her down on the ground. A fraction of a second later, the whole area exploded.

"Did I get him?" Hanzo wondered when the smoke started to vanish.

Konan was lying beside her dead friend, feeling how every fiber in her body still had taken cover from the violent explosion. Nagato stood next to them. It was his turn to protect them now. She looked up and saw that his legs were burned, but nothing was going to stop him anymore.

She tiredly lifted her body and supported her weight on her hands and knees. "Nagato..."

"Konan, hold on to Yahiko and stand still!"

The leader of the ANBU members gave his signal. "Get them!"

The masked shinobis attacked them but Nagato was prepared this time, he killed them all on a fraction of a moment. Something had changed with him. He put his hands together.

_"Summoning no Jutsu! Gedo statue!"_

Konan was appalled. She stared wide-eyed at the overturning ground as she held the dead Yahiko in her arms. She clutched him firmly, shielding him with her body.

"Nagato, don't use it!" she screamed.

The rain was falling heavily, Yahiko's dead body bled on the ground, Nagato had lost all control and was releasing his most dangerous technique and Konan was sitting in the middle of everything, horrified.

Nagato smiled as he managed to kill all of the involved except Hanzo who got away. He had started his revenge for Yahiko's death and he was not finished yet. And as soon as he had become Pain, Konan joined him on the assassination that would kill Hanzo and every single one of his friends and relatives.

**xx End of flashback xx**

They walked down the dark hallway, side by side. Konan let go of her partner's hand when they approached the room where the next meeting were to be held. The ice-cold stone walls and the floor surrounded them with its coldness and slowly swept into their hearts.

"Konan." The single word contained so much messages. It was an question if she was feeling alright, if she was sure about this. It was an encouragement that they would fight together against Madara to save their child no matter what. It was a way of comforting, that they would have the rest of the organization with them in the end. But that they also were alone in this. It was a promise that he would protect her.

"I know." There were all her answers, her promise to protect him as well and that she would stand up against Madara until her bones broke into a thousand pieces.

They didn't need much words to communicate these days, to only spoke the other's name was enough. Konan felt her heart pound faster in rising nervousness.

It was time to tell the rest of the Akatsuki.

.

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**A/N: Reviews means a lot to me :)**


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